One of those moments .....

This afternoon Emma & Kailee were upstairs cleaning their room. After a while Kailee came downstairs and told me she needed to tell me something. So I asked her, "good or bad" and she said, she wasn't sure how I was going to react.

She told me that Christopher (in her class) asked her today during play time to be her girlfriend!! I asked her what she said and she told me very matter of fact that she said she had to think about it! I thought that was PERFECT. I was so proud of her. I was even more proud that she felt confident enough to speak to her sister about it, and then Emma told her she should talk to me.

I am so happy and proud of them. In the end we talked some more about it and she told me that when she thinks about Christopher saying those words she gets nervous and excited at the same time, so I explained to her that those are good feelings. She sat around and thought about it some more and then decided that she will say Yes to being Christopher's girlfriend!!

I think it's so sweet and funny at the same time. I can only hope and pray that when this happens again 10 years from now that she will still have the confidence to tell a boy who asks her out that she needs to think about it first and then come home and talk to me and Emma about it.

This was one of those moments that make it all worth while.

Here's a picture of Christopher & Kailee:

First Post of 2011

I CANNOT believe that I haven't posted since November!! That's awful, but it's been crazy here since November. We've had holidays and major snow storms and the girls were sick like crazy off and on for about 8 weeks. INSANITY!!

We are home right now instead of at basketball because it was CANCELED due to weather. We have not had a full week of school since Christmas break, every week has contained a snow day or delayed opening or BOTH!

Here are some pictures from the past few weeks, I will add Christmas pictures soon.

Good comes out of Emma being sick?

I hate to admit it, but I seem to always find the happy ending or silver lining. Hating to admit it doesn't make sense either, cause I don't hate it. It just always seems to surprise me.

Emma is my helper, I rely on her way to much but she's always there to listen to me or help. With her being sick, Kailee willingly stepped up to the plate and proved to herself what I always knew was possible. She is very capable and is a great helper.

Aside from that Kailee is always with Emma. They are best friends and blessed for me, they hardly ever fight. Somehow, Gabby doesn't really fit in to their little group. This past week, Kailee & Gabby only had each other. Now, they do not play the same way as Emma & Kailee but they played. Gabby really loves her big sister. She loves to rough house with her and pull her hair and dance and sing. They really have a lot in common which is so nice to see despite their age difference. Kailee even loves to play with Gabby's toys, which may not be a good thing for Gabby but they found ways to occupy themselves.

Having 3 kids sick at the same time is horrible. One of them being a 2 year old who is not capable of doing anything or speaking is torture, add to that a mushy 5 year old and a very sick 6 year old and you have one exhausted mama. Poor Emma couldn't even get a hug when she was sick until two days ago when Gabby felt better. My arms are full always but this week they hurt. My hurt was hurting also because I feel that Emma could have gotten better so much faster if there was some Mama love time involved while she was sick, if she could have layed her head in my lap longer or just slept in my arms. The power of Mama love is so strong, and I believe it does have healing powers!

Birthday, Turkey & Sick

What a week we had! I'm so glad that it's only Friday night and there is still two days left of this weekend to recover.

We've been going non stop since last Saturday, when we had a few people over to celebrate Gabrielle's 2nd birthday! I can't believe my baby girl is 2, it really hit me when we sang Happy Birthday to her that it was the last 2 year old party I'll ever get to host for one of my children. Such mixed emotions!

Sunday we had Lou's Aunt's 60th birthday party, and then Monday was Gabrielle's actual birthday. Things went down hill from there though. She started not to feel well Monday night, by Tuesday morning is was down right sick. Tuesday afternoon I got to go to school to be a part of Kailee's Thanksgiving feast, then came home and did homework with the girls. By the time dinner rolled around and was done, Emma was sick.

We started our Thanksgiving vacation a day early by keeping both girls home from school which was good cause Emma was sick all day and Kailee got sick at night. We then decided to post-pone Thanksgiving and Lou's bday. So sad the girls spent all of Thanksgiving on the couch sick.

Today was much better for Kailee and Gabrielle, but poor Emma is still down for the count. Gabby is also being weaned which has been a bit of a hassle for her and I but I'm sticking to it! We're now on day 3 of no breast milk. I'm hoping it will get easier soon. She is a tough cookie that's for sure!

We celebrated Thanksgiving and Lou's bday today as well as put up our Christmas tree, I just feel so bad that Emma couldn't participate in any of it, she tried so hard to put some decorations on the tree but just couldn't do it for long.

Hoping tomorrow is a better day for all of us!

Continuing on my random thoughts

My last post was about the 5 glass balls, and I feel that I didn't even get to say half of the things that are swirling in my head.

One of the balls mentioned is Work. That is a RUBBER ball, that is the one that has the most flexibility. What happens when your household and your children are your work? There are no sick days, no vacation days, no "I don't feel like it" days, what do you do then, how do you make that a rubber ball, when everything you are responsible for is as important as glass?

I feel a new me emerging and I'm not sure where it's going to take me, but I think it's a fork in the road and I'm feeling pressure to make changes and decisions. I'm unhappy, and unhealthy, and I'm not being the best me, which is not being the best mom or role model for my girls.

Where do I go from here?

Random Thoughts

I just read James Patterson's = Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas, and I am sure that I am very late in reading this book as it's been around a long time, but needless to say it's left an impression.

This is a quote from the book:

Imagine that life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The five balls are: family, friends, health, integrity, and work. And you are keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that "work" is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four---family, friends, health, and integrity---are made of glass. And if you drop them, they will crack, chip, or shatter. Once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will discover balance in your life ---James Patterson

This is major food for thought for me. I have neglected my health, badly. Not just badly, embarrassingly. I am an advocate for NOT missing a child health care appointment and never allowing them to go untreated. My mantra was always that I have to take care of my children and then it dawned on me, that taking care of MYSELF IS taking care of my children, because if I get sick or can't be here for them, what good am I then to them or to myself?

With all that said, I went to the dr. yesterday for the first time in ages, aside from being pregnant or my annual GYN appointment. I met a brand new wonderful woman doctor who spent and unheard of 1 hour with me, talking!! It was amazing and felt great. I had to go for lots of blood work today but I'm okay with whatever comes of it and wherever it leads me to take care of me.

Number one is that I must loose weight, lots of it, so I have to put myself out there and make myself a priority. That is not an easy thing for me, I've put myself on the back burner for so long and now it's time for a change, a change for the better, a change for me, a change that will affect everyone around me!

Many Things Are Different

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. So say I'm busy is an understatement. The days all blend into one another and often I'm so tired I can't even sleep.

Now it's Fall. I'm so glad the fall is here! That's one of the big changes for me. I've forever been a fan of summer and all that entails, Heat. Humidity. Beach. Pool. Long Days. Long Nights. Laying on a towel listening to the radio. Sitting by the pool for hours with my favorite book. I used to live for all of those things, for those 3 amazing months out of the year, my favorite. Then it changed...

Emma came along and I still couldn't wait for all of those things to share with her but for her first summer she was only 2 months old, so I looked forward to the next year, then I was very very pregnant with Kailee.

That summer flew by and the following year I couldn't wait for the beach and the pool and the summer. Then I realized how not fun all those things were anymore in the same way I used to define fun. Now there was the OBSESSION with SUN SCREEN, not just any sunscreen, sunscreen so strong you were not getting a sunburn let alone a tan. And this included lotion for myself, another thing that I never even thought about before the girls.

Then came getting to the beach. OMG!! All the stuff to pack, the sand everywhere, the crying children, the BUGS, the food getting dirty, the danger of the children running in the crowd or towards the water.

The pool was a little easier, but the pool for me represented going in swimming a few laps and going back to my towel in the sun. Now it was about sitting in the kiddie pool only and having to stay in the water way past the time of being comfortable to chase the girls around the water. EXHAUSTING!!!!!!!!!! Then getting back home and all the wet clothes and the mess and the running around to get all the stuff washed and packed for dare I say another trip to the pool. Sigh.

I can't believe I have started to dread the things I loved just because they are not the same any more. Not to say that I will not one day enjoy them again but that they have changed what they represent and that I have changed the way I feel about it.

I love my girls so much and enjoy doing things with them but there is so much that goes into simple tasks.

On a more child update note:

Gabby is going to be weaned soon, I cannot believe I've been nursing for 22 months, and I will continue until her second birthday.

She will also be transitioned into her new big girl bed in her own room, and I'm considering potty training! My baby is growing up.

Kailee is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. She loves Kindergarten and we are blessed with Mrs. Palisay again. We are going to work to get her back into OT and if classification of her is necessary to get her the help she needs then that is what will be done, it can only benefit it, it cannot harm her.

Emma is growing way to fast. She is beautiful and smart and compasionate, but sadly she is a jealous little monster when it comes to "things". That makes me sad but I guess it's something we all go through and have to work on.

I will do my best to continue blogging and will even work on getting some pictures uploaded.